I wanted to take her, my love, for a long drive and hence i asked her out.
"Shall we go out somewhere ankita? "
"To where ?" she replied.
My heart murmured" why don't you tell her that you love her?"
I smiled and said "Why do worry about where abouts when your destination is with you?"
Inn sab cheezo se bekhabar jaise saahil se hoti hai lehar, panchhi udd rahe the gagan mein
phul muskura rahe the chaman mein.
sadak ke iss aur hum the aur sadak ke uss aur aap the, kuch intezaar tha inn lamhon mein aur kuch bekarar the hum mann mein.
chalne ka safar tutne ko tha hamara raasta chutne ko tha, sabr hamara unchaiyon par tha humse samaa ruthne ko tha.
hamare raaste phir milne lage dil mein raahat ke phul khilne lage laga jaise koi armaan pura hone ko hai jo chaha tha barso se woh hone ko hai pata nahi yeh kya hai, aur kyun hai thaamke rakha tha jo, woh dil khone ko hai
aap to bas chalte hi ja rahe the, hum dil hi dil ghabra rahe the, aapko shayad khabar na thi iss baat ki par aap hamein mann hi mann bha rahe the
chal mein aapke kuch dheemapan aaya, aur hamara yeh dil muskuraya, yeh ishara kya kum tha hamein? jo aap ki chaal mein hamein nazar aaya,
humne raahat ki kuch saansein li aur raaste ne bhi kuch karvat li, laga kahin aap ka raasta badal na jaye, aur kya agar hamara raasta aapse mil jaye?
jo hona hai, woh hona hai, dil bola, yehi to kismat ka rona hai. aap kahin aur chal diye. aur hum kahin aur chal diye.
Jo bhi hua, kuch achcha hua, pata hai hamein ki kuch pura na hua Par ek baat to saaf nazar aayi safar ki ek shuruvat nazar aayi
Na aap ajnabi rahe aur na hum ajnabi rahe. baatein kuch na hui par intezaar karte rahe
iss safar ne aapko aur hamein.. ajnabi se alag, kuch aur bana diya. yeh haseen mulaqat hamein yaad rahegi jisne aapko jana pehchana bana diya.
P.S: The other day it was a huge traffic on the roads in Bangalore and my bus got struck for hours on my way to home. Having no light, no charge in my ipod, i started scribbling a poem in my mobile. Like J.K.Rowling who had decided the ending of harry potter while writing the starting sitting in the train, in the same way i decided where to end my poem and started writing the poem. Was that a co incidence :P Never mind. Do make a note( if you read the poem completely ) that you have read a poem of 64 lines. Now that's a achievement i say ( to myself) when i look back and find that anubhav will soon be my one year baby.
I reached home at around 6:30 AM next Saturday morning and coming home is like being to heaven on earth. When she heard my voice, mom came running from kitchen in excitement as always. Can you believe it? oh you got to. That’s my mom after all, and by the way a lot of things have changed in the last few years. It was my 12th standard result that surprised everybody in my family. I got 90 percent marks and a seat in a reputed engineering college. I was the first engineer in my family and realizing the fact that my father is no more a financial support to me, I was all alone by myself to manage everything, be it studies, friends or pocket money. Engineering day’s teaches you a lot; at least in my case it was very true. From engineering, there was no stopping for me. I did lot of presentations, good percentages and last but not the least, got a job in reputed MNC Company. My mom never told in front of me, but it was my sisters who told me that she keeps on praising her son’s saga in front of our relatives and in neighborhood. Huh…that was something I don’t like about her. When you get respect in overdoses, you get bored of it and I think people take you for granted in many cases. Recently a lady gossiper in my relatives started advertising about me in our community looking for suitable brides. Hell that was too much of her.
My sisters were still sleeping in bed, particularly devika was rolling all over and I woke them all, out of envy. Raju was sleeping in my study room and I asked Maa , not to wake him up as I thought ” I haven’t come down from heaven to meet him” and asked her to make some poha for me as its been ages I tasted them. At home, I get full liberty to do anything and who doesn’t in his/her home? I can watch any program on TV, put on any song on my pc at full volume, wear anything, realizing the fact that father has stopped interfering into my affairs from the time I joined the company. Mom says, he started respecting me .I wonder if its for the saying( in Hindi) that goes like “when son’s shoulders reaches father’s shoulders, father starts giving attention to what his son says and doesn’t get violent on him”( not a true translation).
I was pretty excited about making a face to face conversation with raju but I was a little reluctant too and I couldn’t figure out the reason behind it. It’s been 8 years now from the time he left this city last time. How does he looks like now? Is he the same? Or grown a little fat? Has he gone bald over these years? Has he developed a tummy? How many children does he have? Would we be able to match our frequency as we did last time? my mind was full of all sort of stupid questions. I and Anitha were exchanging banters when he entered our hall room. “Hello..Namaste..kaise ho?” I asked him, making a place for him and glancing at him making a note of what is same and what has changed in him. I realized that except few wrinkles under his eyes, he was look alike the raju I saw last time.”Main theek hoon..tum batao..kaise chal raha hai kaam”. After talking to him for a while, my feeling of guilt was getting dissipated away in that very not so friendly conversation. I felt a little relieved when at last my doubts, of him angry over me got a solid kick in the air.
How lives change with time, it’s hard to believe and conclude but not thinking about it won’t make any difference to reality. Would it? Same was here. Now I was of his age and he was same 8 years elder to me. When I look back at me of 16, I was expecting myself to be like him of my age as of now. But no, I am very different from him. It’s a strange feeling you know. Time passed so quickly and I am 24 and I can do anything that I want to. But it’s not like that. I have changed and I am no longer crazy, running after respect. Day and night if I thing of something, that is my maa’s happiness, my career, and about life. Her happiness lies in her children and that could be possible only if my all sister’s get married to sensible grooms in good families. I know that’s the biggest responsibility I have on my shoulder knowing that my father is incapable of anything at this age of his.
I asked him” Bhaiya, why don’t you get ready? We shall go for a movie? “.He agreed to it and we went for a movie. I noticed that he was making conversations with Anitha in a mumbling tone as if he did not wish me to be a part of it. I ignored it and I tried my best to give a good company to everyone with my silly jokes which brought smiles from different corners. He wanted to buy a saree for his wife, so I asked sheetal and anitha to help him out. Later anitha came to me complaining” bhaiya, I wish he goes away soon”. The girl, who used to tell me again and again that “you cannot replace raju bhaiya’s place” is here, complaining to me about her so called raju bhaiya? I was about to ask her ” why?” but I postponed that question for later. We reached home and he went for taking some rest in my study room.
There is a lady who used to live in our neighborhood and we used to call her baby aunty. I planned to visit her once, considering the reason that she complained saying”you bachcha log, never care for your aunty ” I took both sheetal and anitha along with me to visit her. I asked anitha ”what is it about raju bhaiya?” The immediate reaction was from sheetal “You told him” “Yes I did” was anitha’s reply.”Anybody telling me what is it about?” Anitha told me that raju bhaiya had been sharing a lot of things that are happening in his marital life. He says that his wife doesn’t understand him well and keeps on fighting everyday. She doubts him whenever he acquaintances with any female and tries to enquire about it. He wanted a good friend in his wife but that wouldn’t happen in this life or so he believes it. He wants a good friend with whom he can share his feelings and all. She said this is the only reason why he took a long leave from home and came here for some peace.
Huh? This is the story? Yes, she confirmed. Before I could say something, sheetal started cribbing “how dare he can ask me to give no. of any of my girlfriends?” “Did he?” Yes, he did once” “Why?” “. She said “He says, he will be just a friend to them, just to talk and all you know”. I must tell you, sheetal is a turbulent girl and she jumps to conclusion very fastly like a shatabdi express.
I explained “See, as you know in arranged marriages, both the bride and groom don’t get a chance to know each other well, Even if they do what is the guarantee that both are honest to each other in that very first conversation? Its later, when they discover each other, they show their real self. I am not saying arrange marriages are worst, what I am saying is arrange marriages are like lottery you know. Not all the people you meet in this world can be your friend, can they? Someone rightly said” its not lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages” I think it’s the same thing going on in his life. There is a lack of understanding between he and his wife. If not love, understanding must be there. When someone is hungry for something, they don’t see what’s right and what’s wrong. I don’t know whether I am making any sense to you people but am warning you; don’t encourage any of his acts. It’s something that he should understand by himself because we are just kids to him or for that matter; it should be brought to terms mutually by his wife. Just ignore whatever he says and act as if you understand it. I strongly feel, he would be ok in some days.”
Even though I made them understand about that matter, somewhere some serious thinking was going on in my mind. I came to a understanding that with time, things change, people change and everything changes around us, which directly or indirectly changes us all and it’s logical too. Especially for a person like me, who was so crazy about cricket, movies, respect etc has come to this conclusion that all these things are just another thing in life. My world of now is different from my world of 16 in a significant manner. My perceptions about things have changed so much in this years, that after only having an encounter with it, I am realizing its difference. In raju’s case, I may have thought many times, but here, today, I think that raju had nothing special in him apart from his good will nature. He is one another normal being who is struggling for the survival in this competitive world and his needs are none different from any other man who is equally dying to make his life better in some way or the other. With age, respect for my father automatically grew in my heart and I realized that everybody thinks of others from their own shoes, but they make a greater deal that put themselves in other’s shoes to understand them.
The next day morning, he was to leave. I had opened all my doors for him but I think he failed to realize that I can be a shoulder for him to cry for. I don’t know why but I feel that men think they can share their problems with girls in a much better manner. God knows whats the concept behind it. He boarded the train for jaipur and I hinged his bag over the side handle, next to his seat and went out waiting at the window for the train to make a move. As people were still boarding, train was delayed for some time. I asked him to come out till then so that I can make a little conversation with him. I bought tea for us and asked him” is everything is going fine”. He tried to enquire whether anitha said something to me. I said “No, I can read your mind”. Our conversation went on for some time and I made him understand that running away from a problem never solves a problem. I asked him to find a solution in his problem, cuz many times we ignore the possibilities of compromises that we can make with our own problems. He smiled and looked away. I know he was embarrassed at my talking but that surely added something to his mind. Train started at its own pace and this time I had a good chance of saying a proper goodbye but Instead I said “see you again and take care” because saying a goodbye was very last thing on my to do list. The smile that he carried while saying goodbye, had something in store for me. Though I am not talented like Leonardo da vinci to hide clues in his painting of monalisa, I was able to read a note of thanks in his smile. I must say his visit made a difference to me in someway. I saw the train moving away, vanishing in that distant direction. I switched my shuffle iPod, and putting earphones in my ears, stepped out of the station in the opposite direction of his un aware of this fact that its written somewhere to be like this.
We'll go our separate ways,
And I'll make it if I try.
Just hold on to our memories,
Say Never, Say Goodbye!!!
P.S: I have to say that this story is inspired from a real incident( not completely).As a writer, it was my duty to put forward this story because i felt it can happen with anybody and making a point with this story was my intention.
P.P.S: After witnessing the response i got from first part, i was in dilemma whether i would be able to make justice to this part and hence shweta helped me in refining it in few places. Thank you shweta, for your help.
